two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
