check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
