I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
