dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize