the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
