Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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