but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
