hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We need to get me chipped asap
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
