He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
