so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
