I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize