yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
