my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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