I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
