so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
