i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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