my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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