sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
