Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
