is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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