I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
