life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
