Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
