I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
