You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
