I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
honey bunches of taint.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
