Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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