Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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