id be glad to
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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