fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
