we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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