Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize