he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
