He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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