i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
