forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
