Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
