You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
