Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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