good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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