how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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