what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
