Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
