haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
