I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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