You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
