Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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