A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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