but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
