Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
