He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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