he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
