Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
