birth control should be required to get into college
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
