They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Everything about him screamed your future.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
