her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
