I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
