I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
