But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
wow bdsm is so cute
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
