Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
